Recognizing Sexual Sin: Are We Teaching God's Standards?

Carol Plafcan
17 hours ago
6 min read

Are Churches Afraid to Call Out Sin?

Are churches afraid to call out sin? It is understandable that people who do not call themselves Christian do not have the same viewpoint on what sin is or if it is even a "thing." But in the pulpits on a Sunday morning are we teaching our young people what the expected standards are for a Christian? If we don't teach people what sin is, how can we expect them to recognize it, repent of it, and turn from it?

Recognizing Sexual Sin

As an older Christian I can count on one hand the number of sermons I have heard on one of the greatest temptations our youth face: sexual sins. To recognize sexual sin we have to know what Scripture says about it. If they are not even taught that sex outside of marriage is wrong in the church and they see almost everyone doing it, how will they know?

The statistics are staggering. They show just how much our young people are being exposed to and influenced by a sexualized culture. About 20% of young people between 15-24 have had sex by age 15. By age 20 over three quarters have engaged in premarital sex (1). As many as 9.5% of adolescents aged 13–17 identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer. In the 18-24 age range that statistic rises to 20% (2). Behind these percentages are teenagers sitting in a church pew who may have never heard a clear word from the pulpit or even at home about the very pressures shaping their daily choices

What Is Sexual Sin?

One might wonder what the Bible calls a sexual sin. The definition is simple: any sexual activity outside of a marriage between a man and a woman (Hebrews 13:4). Sex is the physical seal of a public and permanent promise made in marriage. The two individuals according to Genesis become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). This covenant bond mirrors the relationship that God desires with His people whom He says, "He will never leave nor forsake" (Hebrews 13:5).

We know how much pull the world has on our children but are we as Christian parents contributing to that? Are we watching people have sex (real or simulated) on TV or at the movies with our children? Are we monitoring their social media accounts? Even Facebook has soft porn videos available for viewing. What we watch and what our families watch does affect their decisions concerning right and wrong.

The Influence of Pornography

Pornography is extremely accessible. The average age of exposure to pornography is 12. You may think only boys watch porn, but in today's world women view it as well. Fully 80% of men visit porn sites at least once a month and 42% of women (3). That means many of the young people we greet on Sunday morning already carry images and habits they have never been taught to confess to God as sin.

Pornography isn't harmless, as some imagine, because it feeds the lust that Scripture condemns (Matthew 5:28). It is often a hidden sin. Pornography affects real people. Many marriages have been deeply damaged by partners watching it. And what of the people who make the pornography? Without viewers there would be fewer people engaged in this damaging and sinful activity.

Why Is the Church Silent About Sexual Sin?

But why are sexual sins ignored, for the most part, from the pulpit? There may be many reasons pastors avoid these subjects, but surely one of them is the fear of offending people. They know that many of their members are engaging in them and not just the young. They may have members who are committing adultery, divorcing for frivolous reasons, or living together and having children outside of marriage. To point out such common sins could cause some members to leave or even turn against the person who preaches against these sins. Sometimes, it is simply a lack of courage.

Teaching Our Children About Sin

If our pastors won't talk about this sin that is so prevalent, do we discuss it at home? Or do we think that the "sex talk" we have with our children when they are young teens is enough? Sometimes we may feel rather ashamed to talk to our kids about a sin that we may have engaged in ourselves. Maybe they know they were conceived out of wedlock and feel you have no right to talk to them about a sin you fell into yourself.

But when we talk to children about sin, any sin, we can remind them that everyone commits sin (Romans 3:23). No sin is beyond God's grace to forgive (1 John 1:9). We don't glorify former exploits but we can discuss the damage they caused, certainly spiritual damage, and perhaps even physical damage. If our children are aware of past sins, then we can admit those openly as the mistakes they were. We certainly don't have to go into lurid details.

All sin damages our fellowship with God. And some sins are stronger temptations than others. How does a child or young adult face temptation? The same way any Christian does. We pray, we seek God's face, we ask for forgiveness if we have acted on that temptation and we turn from that sin. As repentant sinners, the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in us can give us the strength to resist (Galatians 5:16; 1 Corinthians 10:13).

Calling Out Sin With Humility

As Christians or as Christian pastors, are we to self-righteously judge people who engage in sexual sin? Of course not. But we are to stay faithful to what Scripture teaches us. We are called to live a life different from the world (Romans 12:2). This difference isn't just about not participating in sexual sins, but also not gossiping and not lying, for example. Some sin damages more than others, but every sin in some way damages our relationship to God.

But it does take boldness to speak out against sin when it is widely accepted in a society. In the past, in this country, Christianity had a larger influence on social norms than it currently does. If Christians themselves are unclear about what is sin, then it makes repentance nearly impossible. And the only way for us to be clear about what is sinful is to read our Bibles or be taught what Scripture teaches.

We assume so much about our faith. We assume people know what the Bible says, when in reality few people, even Christians, read it with any regularity. We assume that children learn in school the damage that premarital sex can cause, but we may forget what a strong pull sex has on them.

Sex is fun. No one ever said the Devil would tempt us to do things that aren't fun.

Sexual sin, like many sins, has a way of growing out of control because sin is never satisfied. It grows quietly in the heart. We go down a wrong path and that path becomes darker and darker. God's light grows dim in our awareness of what sin is and how it damages us and those around us.

We need courage to call out any sin, but especially those we know are tempting people the most. We call sin out, not with self-righteous indignation, but as forgiven sinners who needed God's grace. We speak with humility. The only reason to talk about sin is that we know how it damages others, and because we love others, we don't want them to suffer harm.

The Holy Spirit within us reminds us that God walks with us wherever we go. He opens our hearts to better understand the love of God (Ephesians 3:17-19) and helps us live righteously. The Holy Spirit brings conviction of sin, not just to Christians, but to the world (John 16:8).

How has the Holy Spirit convicted you? No matter what sin we bring to the feet of the Savior He is ready and willing to forgive it if we ask it honestly and with a truly repentant heart. Let us all pray for the courage to speak out when we need to and the wisdom to know how God would have us do that.