Dying to Self Daily: How to Take Up Your Cross and Follow Jesus

The Daily Struggle: Why We Justify Our Anger

We often justify our anger and our sense of being mistreated. We protest to God: "But they did this to me!” We think we are right to call people names, or curse them, or mistreat them back. Am I not worthy of love and respect we think to ourselves? Do I just have to give all the time and never be on the receiving end of anything good? Dying to self daily means losing your self to the will of God.

Jesus answers this question in Luke 9:23,

"Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me."

Jesus’ Clear Call: Deny Yourself and Take Up Your Cross Daily

To truly deny ourselves we give up what we want and replace it with what Jesus wants. Jesus wants us to love and forgive, even when we feel like we are justified not to. We are no longer in charge of our lives, He is. In Galatians 2:20 Paul announces that he has been crucified with Christ. "A dead person has no personal agendas or rights" stated one author.

So how does one die daily? We can't do it by trying our hardest. We can only live for God, by allowing the Holy Spirit who lives in us to do as He pleases with us. What is His will? In the moment of anger or selfishness we want to shut out His voice. We want to stop our ears and pretend it's ok to have our way, but we know in our hearts, that His will is self denial, not self defense.

Because we belong to Jesus we can no longer blame others or make excuses for our bad behavior. We must own it. Jesus calls us "to take up your cross." The cross obviously wasn't pleasant, but it was necessary. It is Christ who must increase and we must decrease.

How to Die to Self Daily by the Power of the Holy Spirit

And in the midst of this daily dying to self we need to check our hearts. Are we doing it because we love God and love others or is it being done because that's what we're told to do. Obedience without love isn't obedience. It's obligation.

But what does it look like in a normal day to be crucified with Christ? It means not having to be right all the time. That political discussion doesn't have to end in an argument. It means not holding on to hurt and bitterness. That former relationship doesn't have to define us anymore.

We treat others as we want to be treated, not as they treat us. Remember, Christ asked His Father “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will”(Matthew 26:39). In Matthew 26:42 He tells His Father, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”

This was a hard, hard thing He was being asked to do, but He was submissive to God's will. No less is expected of us. What do we expect the Christian life to be like? Knowing what Jesus asks of us can feel overwhelming at first. So it’s good to pause and remember why we came to Him in the first place.

Remembering Why We First Came to Christ

Why did we become Christians? If a co-worker asked you that question, what would you say? Hopefully we would answer from the heart: "I needed a Savior. My sin was destroying me. Jesus set me free." We would tell them about our broken sin nature and that we no longer wanted to serve that old master. The master we now serve is God. His Son died so we could be freed from the bondage of sin. We have become a new person, forever changed by the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Galatians 5:1

And this change, our new freedom, should show. But too often the change is hard to see. When hurt comes, and it always does, sometimes we slip back into the old patterns. So what does this new life actually look like when someone wrongs us?

What Dying to Self Daily Looks Like in Real Life

If we are dead to our old selves, if our selfish nature has been replaced by love and forgiveness, then we should not lash out or try to hurt others. When we do, we seek their forgiveness and most importantly God's forgiveness. We give up our lives and our selfish desires for His sake and for the sake of the Gospel (2 Corinthians 5:15).

If we live no differently from the world, then how will they see Christ? Paul knew this struggle well. In his letter to the struggling church in Corinth, he painted a realistic picture of what the crucified life actually feels like in our frail bodies.

God’s Power in Our Suffering: The Beauty of 2 Corinthians 4

Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 that we serve God with our frail, mortal bodies and anything that God accomplishes through us is because of His power, not ours. He tells us that although we may be "hard pressed" and "perplexed" in life it is God who has promised to sustain us. Life can be difficult and it can be hard to understand. Why is this happening to me we think. The pressure to live like the world can be great but God is our ever present help in time of need. Our community of believers can encourage us and help us to keep going.

Paul says we are "struck down" but not destroyed. Each of us has experienced times when we have felt this, some of us in physical ways, but all of us emotionally at times. It is Christ who can keep us from allowing emotional damage to destroy us.

I know this from experience. There have been times in my life when the emotional destruction was heavy. Sometimes I allowed Christ to comfort me and sometimes I tried to find comfort on my own. Only when I ran to Jesus was I successful in navigating those tough times.

2 Corinthians 4:10 explains,

"always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."

By carrying the "dying of the Lord Jesus" we are reminded to die to ourselves so we can live for Him. We don't want the world to view His death as meaningless. They should be able to see that He is alive and powerful just by how we act. They should see the change that He has made, and is making, in our lives on a daily basis. Our self denial and sacrifice should be evident to those around us.

When we suffer, because we all will, this is one way God's power is shown to us. This is how we grow spiritually. It is a reminder that God's power is what we must rely on to live a successful Christian life, not our own. We are a living sacrifice for Christ.

Paul understood that sacrifice and suffering were to be expected in our lives. In 2 Corinthians 4:11 he says we are, "always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake" which echoes Matthew 16:24-25 where Jesus says we are to take up our cross and follow Him. This means not just persecution but denial of self, because this is how we show Jesus to others. Self-denial in a self-focused world is only possible with the Holy Spirit. And the world is watching to see if we really mean it.

Your worldly friends may be telling you to strike back when you are hurt. Maybe they believe you should "stand up for yourself" in a way that will hurt the one who hurt you. Perhaps they encourage you to share that piece of gossip you know about someone who betrayed you. We know Jesus calls us to be different in very concrete ways. He tells us to pray for people who persecute us and despitefully use us.

Finally, Paul tells the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 4:12 that the death at work in his life, through his trials and persecutions, has helped them to have life. His ministry has led to their spiritual growth. Today when people see us sacrificing for Christ, when they see us enduring trials with hope, it can contribute to their spiritual growth. When our needs take second place to the needs of others it can encourage them.

The Unexpected Joy on the Other Side of the Cross

Many of us fear that dying to self will leave us empty and miserable. But the opposite is true. On the other side of those daily deaths is a surprising joy and freedom. When we stop guarding our rights and reputation so fiercely, peace moves in. When we release the need to be right, relationships grow deeper. The life that emerges is far more satisfying than the life we were so afraid to lose.

The Great Reward of Dying to Self Daily

Dying to self daily means growing in our life with Christ. This should be the desire of all of our hearts. As we surrender our rights, our hurts, and our need to be right, the life of Jesus becomes visible in us. To be like Him involves great sacrifice, are you ready?

Are you ready to take up your cross daily? Are you willing to let Christ increase while we decrease? If we will say yes the world won't just see our sacrifice—they will see our Savior.