When Faith Divides: The Cost of Following Jesus

Jesus knew how to shake things up. Many times he shocked His followers with radical ways of explaining things. When faith divides: the cost of following Jesus is nowhere clearer than in Matthew 10:34–36, where He says He came not to bring peace but a sword. But even more radical is what follows. This sword will divide families: children from parents and spouses from one another.

No, He certainly didn't mean a real sword. There is no implied bloodshed in this statement. After all Jesus talked about peacemakers being blessed and He was even called the Prince of Peace. But that peace was between man and God. There was never peace promised between His children and the world. And our loyalty must be above all to Him. No one or no thing should ever come before our love and obedience to Him.

When Family Becomes an Obstacle to Faith

In fact, family can become our idol. We can place our spouse or children or both ahead of our commitment to Jesus. We can choose to go against God's will because we don't want to hurt our children or spouse's feelings. We can turn a blind eye to what we see them doing that is wrong or a deaf ear to how we hear them talking about God.

In first century Israel, among the Jews, family ties were everything. Your family determined your life; who you married, what you did for a living, and above all faith. To imply that following Jesus meant you might have to separate from other family members or that it would bring hatred from other members was extremely radical. What good Jewish person would pick Jesus over family? It was so difficult many weren't willing to do it.

But that level of devotion is not only what Jesus was calling for, but what was expected. He told His followers they would be hated, even killed, for their allegiance to Him (John 15:18-21). And this was not just for His hearers at that time but for us as well.

When Faith Divides: The Cost of Following Jesus

We know what happens in families when someone becomes a follower of Christ.

• On a small scale suddenly that family member becomes suspect. Why? Because they seem to love God too much. They won't watch the same movies anymore or go to the same entertainment spots. They won't use the same language as before or indulge in too much alcohol. They're suspiciously different, even weird.

  
  

• On a large scale a family member who follows Christ finds themselves in danger of death in certain parts of the world because they have renounced their former faith and become a heretic. Dying for Christ suddenly becomes a grim possibility instead of a euphemism for not getting to "have fun".

This family division does not mean we stop loving each other and forgiving. We pray for those who hurt us. We don't seek revenge. We pray, knowing that somehow, someway, God can reach them where perhaps we cannot. Many a parent has prayed for a child who has abandoned the family over issues of faith.

While we pray that becoming a Christian will improve our family life because we will be a better spouse, sibling, or parent that is not always the case. Because now your life reflects Christ instead of the world to those around you. You are a constant reminder that they have failed by not believing and turning to Christ. They may accuse you of thinking you're better than they are, when in reality all you are is forgiven!

A Living Example: Nabeel Qureshi’s Story

In his memoir, Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, Nabeel Qureshi, a former devout Muslim who converted to Christianity, recounts how his conversion cost him not only his identity and sense of belonging but also his closest relationships. He wrote:

“The cost was devastating. To embrace the gospel, I had to betray the family that raised me, the friends who loved me, and the community that had sustained me. I was compelled to choose between Allah and Jesus, and there was no middle ground.”

— Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, p. 291

But Jesus also offered comfort for those who suffer from this sword of separation. Although it is deeply troubling when our family abandons or betrays us, Psalm 27:10 offers words of comfort, "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in."

And we know from Romans 8:28-29 nothing that happens can separate us from the love of God. We can also be consoled by the fact that we aren't standing for God in our own strength, but in the strength of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Bold Faith Must Be Public

We also can't keep our faith secret. In the verse previous to these, Jesus says we must publicly acknowledge Him, even knowing what might happen. If we don't love Him enough to openly speak of Him as our Savior He says, "... But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 10:32).

1 John 4:19 explains that, "We love because He first loved us." Are you showing that love to others? Would others recognize your faith through your actions and the way you live? If it isn't plain to others, then the world won't hate you. Now I am not saying that this means you should be marching around denouncing those who live sinful lives, not at all. But we ought to seek to live in a way that is different enough that people just know by being around you that you are a Christian.

Jesus said His followers would stand out and be hated for it. So we have to ask ourselves: do our lives really look that different from the world? Our desire should be to love more, forgive more, give more, and have more joy than those in the world. How are you doing? Are you tired? Galatians 6:9 encourages us, "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." God promises strength for the weary.

Counting the Cost of Following Christ

In Matthew 10:38, Jesus tells us, "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me." This is the first mention of the cross in Matthew and is long before the disciples really knew what was coming, Jesus' own death on a cross. But the imagery was not lost on them.

They knew that to carry a cross meant to die a humiliating and gruesome death. Jesus was plain spoken. He wanted you to "count the cost" before you declared yourself a disciple (Luke 14:28-30). That cost may require you to put Jesus above even your own country.

This sword of division that Christ followers experience can extend even to their allegiance to their country. We follow Christ first, government second. If government starts asking us to do plainly un Christian things then it is time to check our loyalties. If such a time came it would be our duty to stand for Christ. Remember, Jesus doesn't belong to a political party.

Division Within the Church

Sadly, in today's world we see huge divisions between Christians themselves, especially on issues of social justice and morality and often along political lines. One side wants to say the other side couldn't possible represent Christ if they allow certain things to happen or ban certain things. In this we should be oh so careful to point fingers.

We can have a difference of opinion and still both be Christians. We need to prayerfully treat each other with respect while standing our ground on issues that are controversial. This has definitely not always been the case.

The sad reality is that down through history much blood has been shed by one group of so called Christians killing another group. No amount of justification makes such evil right. Even if it is done in the name of God, such violence completely contradicts Jesus' own teaching.

If we hate others to the point that we are willing to slaughter them then we simply aren't Christians. Only true repentance can bring forgiveness. It doesn't matter what we call ourselves, the presence, or lack, of fruit in our lives will be how we know.

Be Ready to Defend the Faith

It would seem obvious from what Jesus says that hate will come our way when we stand for Him. Atheists will accuse Christians of bigotry and ignorance and sadly some of those accusations may be true at times. It is pointless to debate with someone whose mind is made up on a matter, but when someone is genuinely interested in how Christians support their views it is important to have enough biblical knowledge to explain our beliefs. "Study to show yourselves approved," the Word tells us (2 Timothy 2:15). All of this cost is real, but so is the reward.

Sacrifice but Gain

We know that following Jesus brings inner peace, joy, and love. We become kinder, gentler, and wiser people. These are all things the Holy Spirit works out in us as we become sanctified in Christ. Our greatest reward is knowing the love of God. It is true that we may have to give up relationships or other worldly pleasures, but only in Christ can we live our lives to the fullest and understand our true purpose.

Finding Life by Losing It

Jesus speaks very plainly in this passage of the price we pay when we follow Him and put Him first. As He declares in Matthew 10:39,

“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”

Have you lost your life in Him? His reward is eternal if you have.