Master Christian Self-Control: Biblical Advice for Growth

What Is Self-Control?

You don't hear too much anymore about words like self-control, temperance, or self-discipline. They mean the same thing but they seem almost old-fashioned and out of style. To have self-discipline means we can moderate ourselves. But what makes Christian self-control different from simple willpower?

Christian Self-Control Explained

In the face of temptation to do too much of something or not enough, we can regulate our wants and desires. This can be done in a worldly way, but when we live a Christian life, we are told in Titus 2:11-14 that the grace of God not only brought salvation but also trained us in Christian self-control. Let’s look at some common struggles that challenge our self-control.

Common Self-Control Struggles

When we aren't self-controlled, we may eat too much, drink too much, or we may even shop too much or play too much golf. It's not always the obvious ways in which people lack self-control. Maybe we are on our phones too much or maybe we play too many video games. Whatever we're doing, if it's to excess, it can become a bad thing. These external habits point to deeper struggles within the heart.

Battling Sinful Desires

Then there's also self-control not to sin. We battle sinful desires till the day we die. Maybe it's lust or pornography. Maybe it's premarital sex or adultery. Maybe it's the desire to be number one all the time. Maybe it's a need for money and more money, also known as greed. The Christian life is a battle. Thank God we aren't alone in it. Even when we appear disciplined outwardly, our thoughts can tell another story.

Hidden Thoughts and God’s View

When our lack of self-control is in our thoughts, we may appear to have everything under control but God sees the real us! He knows we are just for show. Maybe we attend church regularly and participate in Bible study but at night our thoughts wander where they shouldn't. This inward lack of control often shows up in what we fail to do spiritually.

Spiritual Discipline Practices

Finally, lack of self-discipline keeps us from doing things we know we should do. Do we eat healthy and exercise? That takes care of our physical body but what about our spiritual needs? Do we read God's word every day, study, pray, and fast regularly? These areas of self-discipline help us grow from a "baby" Christian, living on milk as Paul describes it, to an "adult" Christian eating meat (1 Corinthians 3:1-3). The Bible makes clear that self-control is not merely personal effort, it’s spiritual fruit.

Self-Control as Fruit of the Spirit

Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It is something we should see growing in our lives. We should find ourselves, as time passes, more and more successful at having self-discipline. If you're like me, the list of areas needing self-control feels very long. James tells me I need to control my tongue (James 3:2-12). Jesus warned us, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Is our mouth under control? What fruit are we bearing? Do we bless God, yet curse Him at other times? Picture someone who prays on Sunday morning and then uses God's name in vain in frustration while they drive. Such a person shows lack of self-control. Jesus tells us our heart is either for Him or against Him. Paul and Peter give further instruction on how believers should exercise this fruit. This fruit of self-control isn’t optional, it’s essential for living a holy life.

Paul talks about putting away the lusts of the flesh (Romans 13:14), and Peter explains we should have sound judgment and a sober spirit so we can pray (1 Peter 4:7). When Paul discusses lusts of the flesh, what does that actually mean? Sexual immorality is the first thing we tend to think of, but the term encompasses much more. Galatians 5:19-21 gives a pretty thorough list of temptations and areas where we may have problems using self-control.

"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Paul's warning here is pretty stark. If we live in these things, meaning we have no desire to repent and turn from them, then we will not see God's kingdom. Self-control becomes a trait Christians don't just need, but must have. Paul often compared the Christian life to athletic training to illustrate this truth.

Perhaps you've learned self-discipline of your physical body. Maybe you do all the things we are told to do to stay healthy. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:25 that those who compete in the Roman games do it to obtain a wreath that withers away but you and I, as Christians, practice self-discipline to gain an imperishable wreath. Paul continues this thought when writing to Timothy about the value of godliness.

1 Timothy 4:8 continues this thought and explains, "bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Compared with disciplining just your physical body, spiritual discipline holds promise for both the here and now and for our future life in Heaven. So how can we begin cultivating this kind of spiritual discipline?

Learning to be Spiritually Disciplined

What can we do to become spiritually disciplined? 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us it is God's word that trains us in righteousness and equips us for good works. And good works are what our purpose is all about. Spiritual discipline grows through learning, mentorship, and daily habits.

Like anything that we learn, spiritual discipline benefits from learning and practice. We learn it by being around those who practice it. Do you have a spiritual mentor or a pastor you respect? They can help you learn discipline by teaching you what they have learned. And as it is with everything, the more we practice discipline, the better we will get at it. These small daily habits can shape the rhythm of a disciplined life.

Some people place uplifting Bible verses where they can see them easily, on their computer or bathroom mirror. Others like to listen to praise music as they are getting ready to start their day. Another suggestion would be to focus on Sunday as God's holy day by setting aside the ordinary things done the rest of the week and focus on Him all day. There is also a special blessing in setting aside time for worship and rest.

We can begin our day with quiet meditation in God's Word, attend Sunday School and corporate worship, have a quiet time and time of personal Bible reading. Consider doing a work of mercy, for example, having a needy person as a guest. Learn to make your food mostly in advance of the Sabbath. Turn your computer and phone off all day. There is blessing in obedience. The testimony below gives a beautiful example of how prayer transforms discipline.

Still more advice comes from an online forum where Idelette says this,

"To be quite honest, it wasn't until I really prayed about this that I saw any serious change in my devotional life. For so long I was doing daily Scripture readings and reading other solid books but I felt like my heart was just going through the motions. It wasn't until I seriously started praying that the Lord really brought me to a deeper place. Pray the Lord gives you a thirst and hunger for His Word! Pray the Lord gives you a restlessness in your sin and apathy! Pray He aids you in your prayer life and gives you zeal to continue in prayer! Pray He gives you grace to be disciplined! Pray He teaches you to love Him with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength! (Mark 12:30) When we really love Him, we will naturally desire to spend more time with Him as He is our delight! "

Her experience reminds us that even spiritual discipline must be rooted in humility.

Avoiding Pride in Discipline

Have you noticed something though about becoming disciplined, whether physically or spiritually? Have you noticed it seems difficult not to expect everyone else to be in the same place as you are? Often there is a hint of pride in becoming self-disciplined.

Well, I run every day so you should too. I read my Bible every morning at 7 am and pray for 30 minutes so you should too. I stopped watching the news because it gave me negative thoughts and you should too. Self-control is a good thing—until it's not—because we have moved from a place of spiritual humility to a place of pride. When practiced with humility, self-control becomes a source of blessing.

Blessings of Christian Self-control

It is much easier to go through life undisciplined, doing as we will, and only thinking of God and holiness on Sunday morning. But our Lord has so much more for us. He wants to bless us with His peace. He wants us to be a blessing to others by learning self-control. When we grow in self-discipline, we also grow in wisdom and understanding.

Think of how many lives would not have been ruined if others had learned self-control. Families destroyed by alcoholism or drugs, lives ruined by pornography and adultery, loved ones damaged by the workaholic spouse; in so many areas, we see how self-discipline is a virtue we should all desire.

Spiritual discipline doesn't just bless us; it blesses others. The closer we are to God, the better we will understand His will. Wisdom and understanding are the blessings of obedience. We glorify Him by our obedient love. Self-control isn’t about denying ourselves joy, it’s about learning the joy of living under God’s guidance. Let’s ask Him for that grace now. Let’s close with a prayer asking God to help us grow in this vital area.

Most holy Father,

We love you and we praise you.

Father, make us see the need and the benefit of self-discipline.

Help us to learn to be self-controlled for you.

Help us to learn to die to self and put you first above all things.

In Your Son's name,

Amen